I finally decided to take a leap from the evergreen poetic form of expression to plain and simple illustration and this shall be my first piece of the kind. As the piece of work shall help overcome my fear of expression in merely one form, I shall dedicate this to fear.
Over the past one week, a lot of my friends and acquaintances have brought out the age factor that we all are facing around. Mid 20’s crisis, Nearing 30’s fear, you name it in whichever way and the thought is sprawling within. So what is it that changing the mind and body so fast? Is it hormones (I doubt, that generally occurs in the teens), is it marriage (you marry whenever you are ready so no age bracket these days except the occasional family pressure), or is it the instability that’s building up because you feel others are settled? All these are nothing but a pool of fears that keep increasing every day. Fear of commitment, fear of failure in love and career, fear of loneliness, the list never sees an end. Some fears build by experiences, others just don’t have a base. How do we know which ones are real and which ones are fictional? We don’t and we need not too. After all, all fears aren’t harmful. Fears let the inner self not be exposed to strangers. They help you contain yourself within. This is the fear of not trusting someone so easily which in turn often helps in self-growth, self-realisation or introspection, as concisely put.
In addition, there seems to be a new fear developing in the Gen D (Gen D refers to the Digital Generation, brought up in the digital world of internet and gadgets). This fear is called the fear of society. The fear that your peer or someone you often look up to on that social networking websites is often outperforming you and leading a more successful life, or at least as virtually put. In other words, in search of doing something different and worthy of applause by the larger society, we fear that what we are doing at present falls short of any concrete appreciation at all, even from self. Such fears are disastrous not only from a self-growth point of view, even from the mere survival and sustenance angle. We tend to undermine our present work-life and the relationships we have thrived on for so long. We tend to not think of the present in search of a future that is definitely not certain for us, maybe not meant to happen. The world that lies beyond our reach is enticing from far because of its far-sightedness. But that might just be a mirage. It will keep travelling further as we advance towards it.
And yes, to these fears, I say, some fears have no end.
Yes I am.
That’s lot better than the Emotionally Constipated Machines;
the so called practical human beings.”
So whenever some calls you Emotional fool.. stay calm and chant.. “Yes I am.”
Needless to say these are roles assigned specifically to the genders through an inbuilt system devised by the Almighty….more of a mockery of our sensibilities but then that’s the way things are…take it or leave it. Men since ages have been the rational buggers and women are the emotional drama queens. However, which is a better or an idyllic state to be in, runs into bitter controversies whereby often there is no agreement reached upon. In fact it is more like which is the worst case scenario!
Rationality is a good trait. Things that are divested from reality are really eyewash that would wane away sooner or later. But an overdose of pragmatic and sceptical thinking can nip the blooming bud in its infancy. I mean if everyone refuses to enjoy the beauty of a bloom, being in fear that it is going to wither soon, then perhaps beauty, in its entire epitome or in any form would fail to attract.
Men put too much thought process into every aspect. Perhaps through the traditional roles of being the bread earners, they are conditioned to weigh every situation, along with the entire hypothesis and reach a step by step inference. Phew! They rationalize and perform endless post-mortems till they actually do discover something ugly in everything. They dread to be in a state whereby they might just get carried away and prefer to live in their cocoons rather than expose themselves for dissection.
Men have a tendency to delve too deep into practical nuances. Very few men have the balls to just get up suddenly and do something inane, without bothering of consequences….to say something unexpected, without having debated upon it in the mind and be ready to take the aftermath, whatever it may be. Otherwise generally speaking, the romance is generally killed because romance and reality are like the two banks of a river that flow by. They would move side by side, but never meet. What is romantically mush may be construed practically as a waste of time, money and effort. Or let’s just say, the moment romance gets turned into a concrete reality…. the fantasy element from it disappears. Practically approaching, once the mystery is solved, the thrill and newness that accompanied it crumples, until it’s time for a new conquest and new adventure.
Women on the other hand tend to stick and cling and hold on. The paradigm shift of relations from one layer to the other, does not make them more laid back and settled…it makes them more dreamy and dumb. They want to give their all and are confounded by expectations. They do not realize that men have already switched gears by this turn. So the so called ‘inferior sex’ drives on headlessly and heedlessly, unaware or maybe aware too that the road ahead is full of potholes and speed breakers. They keep up with pretence, exuberance and smiles to bring in the rosy tint to their shriveling relations. And then the world over, it is recognized that women are bad drivers! They swerve their way or bear the bumps and keep moving and nothing short of a dead end would dampen their indomitable spirit. And by that time, they have journeyed too far to turn and return. So they spend the rest of their lives there. And no points for guessing that soon at these junctures, begins the emotional ‘atyachaar’….the weeping and blame games, the pointing of fingers and sulking of countenances, long speeches wherein the women ask as well as answer themselves. The emotional turmoil and outburst all set to wash away any traces of romance that may have survived….pushing men deeper into their over-thinking caps to the future of it all. Drama at its worst best…and nautanki at its fullest!
Bottom-line: Boom and crash and disaster….
But without any lesson learn and with open wounds inviting fresh troubles all over again!
I am not favoring female counterparts or condemning the male line of thought. Can you ever fight basic intrinsic nature? There’s only to defend it! Can a man or woman really go against the inbuilt values and structures?
Is it really desirable for men to be more dramatic and women to be more pragmatic?
Who is to say?
But then a midway path…the middle void wherein the Yin and the Yang culminate….that middle path is the seamless state. For that, first we need to realize the roles assigned to us and thereby endeavour to overstep them. We need to ordain that the opposite sex is really like that…and then build in our own intensions around it. Relationships in the complex modern world are fragile and tender still is the heart. Hence let’s make efforts to recognize our limitations and those of others associated with us…to move on smoother sails.
It won’t hurt women to be a little more realistic and less over-the-top mush and the men to be a little more expressive and less insulated. Oh! If wishes could come true…perhaps men and women from Mars and Venus would get culminated on our dear old Earth….
Oh heart, dream on and so not despair!
Article By :- Mr.Dhiraj Jindal (TheJindal)